Choose to constantly hark back to the good old days of yesteryear because your team is so shite. 
Choose to worship at a stadium that you don't even own. 
Choose to spend 8.5 million on a girlfriend-beating, homesick striker with specially adapted boots because every time he turns too quickly he falls over. 
Choose to wear white suits at Wembley for an FA Cup final and look fucking stupid. 
Choose a manager who has to resign because he is so embarrassed that Peter Beardsley is shagging his wife. 
Choose one goalkeeper who can't secure his own penalty area unless the money is right. 
Choose another goalkeeper who can't secure his own penalty area at all. 
Choose a druggie centre forward. 
Choose a winger from Scooby Doo. 
Choose shampoo commercials.
Choose scouse managers so no one can understand them.
Choose the "Non alcoholic drinks' cup.
Choose losing the FA Cup final to the double winners. 
Choose not to even finish second in the Premier as a means of getting to Europe.
Choose to bring up your managers from within the club even though three out of the last four were crap. 
Choose a European strategy that involves losing three nil in the first leg away from home. 
Choose the 'Spice Boys'.
Choose a United reject who was past it two years ago as your captain.
Choose to have a good scoff at United when the Munich air disaster is talked about but get deeply upset at the mere mention of 'Heysel' or 'Hillsborough'.
Choose to get a kicking from all Juve fans. 
Choose to get knocked out of the Coca Cola each season by Middlesboro. 
Choose that most talented midfield player, Oyvind Leonhardsen. 
Choose a full back who lost his place in the team whilst on tour because he caught a disease found only in sheep.
Choose not to defend. 
Choose to lose at home to Barnsley. 
Choose a team who haven't won a decent trophy in the last 5 years. 
Choose an away strip that can make people sick. 
Choose Roy Evans HA !!. 
Choose embarrassment. 
CHOOSE Liverpool!
CHOOSE SCUM!!!!!