news:dsaoovc99eso3q4ldtuvm0rki5g3mtl4ih@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 17:54:55 +0100, "Jon de Souza"
<jd015e1514@blueyonder.co.uk>
> wrote:
>
> >For fuck's sake, at last one of you lot has had the foresight to post
> >something I can understand.  The cunting crows had my eyes a good month
> >back, along with my liver and intestines.  Anyway, I agree SJT.  To be
> >honest, thought I didn't know you were *such* a big fan of Jimmy Saville
as
> >well.
> >
>
> Hello again mate.  How's life under a _quality_ patio?  I thought you'd
like it.

To be honest ST, it's not all you originally suggested.  If you don't mind,
I've got your original advert here:
"Quality patio, Oxford area.  Suit newly deceased single person.  Fully
furnished, all mod cons, gch, pool, newly fitted paving slabs, sky view.  In
excellent condition for £500 pcm.  Pets welcome.  No DSS.  Tel. Serious
Tiger on *****-******"

To be honest, I should have been suspicious when I saw that your phone
number was just a succession of stars.  However, I ignored that and
inspected the property with you.  All I can say is that you must have done a
lot of tidying up before you showed me the 'quality patio'.  The problems
started after I moved in - the pool proved to be caused by a leaky slab.
And those slabs may have been newly fitted but it looks like they'd simply
been lifted from an old alley, so strongly did they reek of urine.  You
didn't mention to me that the sky view was going to be covered by a rusty
bucket, part of a pot plant and some cat effluent.  Furthermore, whoever
came up with the idea of allowing those scooter driving, parka wearing
ex-jailbirds stay with me must have been insane.  Quite frankly ST, I'm not
happy at all and may even consider witholding my last month's rent.

JdS