"Gra" <hellofromgra@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:285d44c4.0306170517.47bae411@posting.google.com...
> I like it. "Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Love the newsgroup!".
> We should schedule it for a way in the future, mid-July maybe, so they
> have time to get their gumption up, or something, and word can spread
> arounf the Lurker bars and clubs. I read a thing just the other day
> that there are approx 100 lurkers for every poster. I mean, how do
> they _know_?

Mid-july sounds good. I'll be away anyway, so it'll give them extra incentive 
to get posting without fear of mockery from the manager. If that's not enough 
incentive, though, I'll be reading the lurker threads on my return, and may 
well, after   consultation with my coaching staff, be offering one lucky 
lurker a chance to train for two weeks with the UKSF youth team!

Think about it, lurkers! A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to train under the 
great Allen Presley, and even to rub shoulders with the likes of top newsgroup 
footballer Michael Cunningham in the Youksef Bar after practice.  If you're 
lucky, you may even get to have your picture taken with him!  There'll be 
specialised coaching sessions with some of the greats, including "Dribbling 
all over the place" with Dat, "Killing the thread" with Gra, and "Breaking 
in your arse" with Ben Nunn, and you'll finish off each night with a few hours
of hard drinking, under the drunken, half-arsed supervision of UKSF Assistant 
Manager, and legendary booze-hound, Robert Poleson.

You'll be the envy of all your friends as you regale them with tales of full-
contact friction dances, bukkake bloat-sculptures and mountain upon mountain of 
hot Judi. Of course, at the end of it all, you'll be showered with all manner 
of Youksef erchandise, all lovingly signed by the entire UKSF first-team. Fetch 
a small fortune on Ebay, that lot will.  But remember, you have to be in it to 
win it. The UKSF Lurker Challenge in Mid-July.  Enrol today, and say goodbye to 
your old, meaningless humdrum life. For two weeks.

Joe
--
<lost for words>