On 11 Mar 2005 10:12:35 GMT, the delighfully homosexual Kullrad
said:
>
>The so called 'Big' clubs, who wouldn't normally be expected to be in >the
UEFA Cup, want as much money for themselves, via the Big Cup.
>
>Quite frankly, the sooner they all fuck off and set up their
>'EuroSuperLeague' the better.
>

I have an even betterer Idea. Why don't they just get rid of
football altogether and just televise live usenet football? It
could be just like Gillette Soccer Saturday with a bunch pundits
sitting around watching monitors linked to various posters
computer rooms....

Jeff Stelling: Welcome to another spellbinding evening of Usenet
FootballŪ. Tonight we have have Charlie Nicholas keeping an eye
on Joe Horowitz and Mikey Cuntingham, Phil Thompson will be
running the rule over Poleson and Ben 'The Knight' Nunn, Matt Le
Tissier is watching Kullrad and Parkes while Frank McAvennie is
ogling the Victorias, Conlan and Barratt. We have also sent
Chris Kamara out to New Zealand to keep an eye on things down
there. And, of course, we'll keep you up to date with all the
latest posts as and when they happen. So, Charlie, any early
developments at your end?

Charlie Nicholas: Not really, Jeff. It looks like Horowitz is
still not back from work yet and I believe Mikey is still
grooming himself in the bathroom.

JS: That's not all that surprising really. Phil, what have you
got for us?

Phil Thompson: I need a bigger monitor because I can't see past
my fucking nose.

JS: Oh dear, we'll see if the technical staff can sort that out
for you. In the meantime, Matt, anything happening with your
boys?

Matt Le Tissier: Well, Kullrad has been posting furiously since
I tuned in but there seems to be little of any merit coming from
it yet. Parkes is just skinning up at the moment.

JS: Hmmm, that could go any one of two ways for young Allen.

MLT: Quite.

JS: Indeed.

PT: Shirt.

CN: The Penis.

All: *laughs*

JS: Uh oh, it looks like there could be some action between the
Victorias, Frank?

Frank McAvennie: I'm no sure aboot this, when I signed up for
this joab you'se told me I'd be keeping an eye oan a couplay
hoat burds but wan o thum looks like Giant Haystacks un the
uther wan seem tae be covered in baby spew. Am oaf tae tha pub.

JS: Oh dear. Maybe it's for the best, the less we hear about
Barratt's threads the better.

PT: OH NO!!! What a post by Nunn! That's a definite LOL if ever
I saw one. That must be an early contender for Post of the
Season.

JS: Was it one of his hilarious 'cuntspiracy' specials?

PT: Not at all. He has simply listed the contents of his
kitchen. It may not sound impressive but when you see it in
action it really is something special.

JS: Excellent. Now, Charlie, any sign of the OBBs yet?

CN: I think Mikey is just about ready to take his seat now. The
fans are all on their feet, trying to catch a glimpse of what
he's wearing tonight.

JS: Do keep us updated on that front, Charlie. Let's go out and
about and see what Kammy has for us.

Chris Kamara: *long delay while CK looks cold and stupid as he
listens to JS in his earpiece. When he finally does start
talking we can't hear him*

JS: Oh dear, we seem to be having some sort of technical problem
with Chris's equipment. Matt, anything new happening in the
Midlands?
MLT: Kullrad has just posted the stats for last month and Parkes
has had a go at some crossposting newbie for not snipping.


Etc, etc....
--
rob at rjp.clara.net